Gym Mishaps

I work out regularly at the gym, and every so often - aka every other week - I either forget something or do something that makes me cringe and then go tweet about it. Here's a sampling:

Colorful socks. Last night I showed up at the gym to go running only to pull down my pants (don't worry, I was wearing shorts beneath!) and see I forgot to change my socks. Oh, I was in socks, but they were pink argyle socks. Thin, too. Not the worst thing that can happen, but like . . . I wasn't trying to make a statement on the treadmill catwalk. Or get a blister on my heel.

No underwear. Last week I did a morning workout before work. After showering, I got dressed. You can imagine my alarm when I realized I forgot my underwear. I had pants, a shirt, even a belt, but no boxer briefs. Ermm. I debated wearing my dried-sweat compression shorts beneath my jeans, but declined after smelling them. So there really was no option but to free ball. It's not like CVS sells underwear (or does it?). Worse, I walk to work from the gym. So much chafing.

Cracking ankles and bleeding knees. The preface is, my right ankle cracks. As in I have had concerned people stop and ask me what is that sound. Me: " . . . My ankle." So I'm in yoga class, and yoga always has me inspecting my legs with all those forward folds. Usually I'm picking at lint between my toes, but this day I noticed the scab on my knee seemed ready to come off - so why not remove it during monkey pose? Cue bleeding. I didn't notice the river until I was in downward dog and then - crap!!! I hurry to escape to a first aid kit without disturbing my peaceful yogi neighbors, but - crack crack crack! My ankle cracked the whole way to the door. Meanwhile I'm trying to stop the blood. And then I had to go back to get my stuff. Crack crack crack.

Shorts that don't dry. I have these gray shorts that when they get wet, the damp spot just does not disappear. So it's ten minutes before yoga class, I wash my hands, and oops, some water hits my crotch. No question, it looks like I dribbled on myself with urine. What to do, what to do. Of course I could just hope people don't think I wet myself - or I could splash more water on myself because that will make it obvious I didn't pee myself; the sink just erupted on me. Nope. That makes it obvious you totally, irrevocably, evacuated on yourself. That yoga class was the longest of my life. Damp crotch pose, anyone? Moral: Only buy black shorts.