As Told Over Brunch

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American Horror Story: The Netflix Betrayals

Previously I discussed the twenty-something epidemic, The Netflix Binge. Today I will narrate a nasty side effect: The Netflix Betrayal.

I am not the first to write on the potential pitfall of agreeing to watch a Netflix show with your friends. You think you'll bond - you'll have more inside jokes to reference - but occasionally strife strikes. Here is my tale:

My friend invited me to watch the premiere of the current season of American Horror Story. Afterward, I couldn't bear to wait seven days for episode two (did you see the killer clown?! I needed to know his story!). My friend suggested we watch the past seasons in the meantime. We watched the second season in a week. I'm proud to say (maybe embarrassed, too), I was so into AHS that I convinced my out-of-town weekend guests to watch the show while we pregamed the bars. However, this sets the stage for the betrayals: My out-of-town friend left my laptop signed into her Netflix account....

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The Betrayals

1.) Somewhere near episode 8 in season two, I Wikipedia'd the season. This isn't something new for me: As a writer, I enjoy a surprise as much as knowing the synopsis beforehand and watching the art of how it unfolds. I often read film plots before seeing the movie. But now I knew how it all ended - but I kept my lips tight. Safe for now.

2.) We watched season one after season two. Around episode 10, my so-called friends decided they wanted to bar-hop rather than see what happens with Vivien's child. Well, I haven't been dependent on anyone since the age of 17. Remember how my friend left me signed into her Netflix account?

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Cazey watched the rest of season one in the dark of his bedroom. And then he re-watched the finale with his friends days later. They were never the wiser. (Until they read that.)

3.) Life got in the way of watching season three. The holidays approached. I couldn't wait any longer. I still had access to my friend's Netflix account. So after finals, I treated myself and watched season three. It took me three nights.

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4.) Now up-to-date with AHS, I decided why not watch another show with my free Netflix access? Except this time I had been kicked off Netflix. Someone changed their password. I had wondered how long it would take my friend to see AHS in her most recently watched shows - when all her other recommended shows were "Gilmore Girls," "Sex and the City," and "Jersey Shore." But no, friend, no! Of course I never told her I was (ab)using her account, so she may not have known who she spurned. I contemplated mailing her a shredded Netflix subscription. Or glitter.

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5.) Fast forward to New Year's Eve. My friend and I are heavily intoxicated. AHS comes up (whoops).

Me: "We have to watch season three! I've heard it's the best season, someone told me . . . . "

My friend: "I have a secret . . . I've already started it. I've seen four episodes."

. . .

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Me: 

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Actually: 

Because - and I burst out - "I watched the whole damn season!"

Such a Fiona Goode moment. (See the last four GIFs; that's Fiona.)

My friend's eyes widen. "You did?" she gasps.

Me: (fast explaining) "I was going to watch it again with you all. It's the best season!"

My friend fiercely agrees: "I know! I love it!"

And we moved on from the subject. But a question lingers: Can established traitors ever come together again to watch a Netflix series?

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