Why I Admire Scar (Even You Can't Be Caught Unawares)

Recently I was doing a bench press and The Lion King's "Be Prepared" came on my iPod. BEST WORKOUT SONG EVER. Best song ever, actually. And then I realized we don't appreciate Scar enough. We forget how shrewd and brazen he was. We neglect to remember the leadership he exemplified. We don't even all have his anthem in our Spotify library.

"He is the mean gay uncle that everyone wants," says my friend. I had never even considered Scar's sexuality previously, but she's right. He was a LGBTQ icon in the '90s, a trendsetter if there ever was one. Also, this explains why he can sing so damn well.

The thought came to me on my fifth replay of "Be Prepared" that "Why I Admire Scar" would make a great college essay. It would be both edgy, honest, and there's plenty of material! Thankfully, I'm not returning to undergrad, but that doesn't mean I can't blog my admiration.

Firstly, Scar is straightforward. He doesn't beat around the savannah bushes; he is going to kill Mufasa. And not only are his intentions clear, he follows through. And he does it with CHEEK! "Long live the king," he hisses - and then RIP, Mufasa. Not even Cruella has that flair.

He even has time to give us the cliche villain monologue (though maybe we shouldn't call Scar a villain; he's just a transparent go-getter - and Mufasa was segregating the hyenas). Scar probably has time for this because, wait, what, he's prepared? Oh my gosh, I am in love with a person who actually reads the email responses they solicit! And addresses my questions? ("No, fool, we're gonna kill him. And Simba, too.") And actually shows up on time with an agenda?!

Where do I vote for this figurehead who values my time and opinions?!

Scar also isn't petty. Some people get mad when a woman's not interested (cough, Gaston) or aren't invited to a christening (hey, Maleficent), but that's a toddler tantrum compared to usurping the throne. This is about power; he wants to be king. And he's practical; he doesn't want world domination, just the Pride Lands. Is that so much?

What grabs my heart almost as much as his preparedness is his literacy (!!!). Let's talk about his use of similes: "Your powers of retention are as wet as a warthog's backside." Does it get any more illustrative? His lyrics altogether make me swoon. What other tyrant can turn their mission statement into poetry? ("I'll be king undisputed, respected, saluted, and seen for the wonder I am.")

And for the working man, Scar believes in compensation ("I know it sounds sordid, but you'll be rewarded") - as long as you meet expectations ("you're expected to take certain duties on board"). Fair is fair!

Conclusively, I want to be on Scar's exec board. It would be a dance party (and not hip-hop, which is my least favorite dance music), and sh*t would get done. And he calls out the incompetent fools! Basically, my idol. I love embracing Disney-era Slytherins.

So now let's play "Be Prepared" for the tenth time today:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08-uyfp2iPM&w=854&h=510]