All I wanted to do was download iMessage to my MacBook. I had two hours until class; I thought that was plenty of time. Of course, I should have known when it comes to Apple software, there's always several other downloads preceding the intended installation. At least if you're me and never update your stuff.

I got my MacBook freshman year of college and did not update it for four more years. I only did it because I needed to install some other program. My computer was a Leopard at birth (Apple used to name their laptop line after big cats, meow), but by the time I updated, we skipped the whole animal tree and she became a Mountain Lion (rawr). And it was free because being a Mountain Lion was nothing exciting anymore.

So obviously, two years out from my MacBook's rebirth, there's a new operating system - and it's not named after felines. It seemed I needed this new system before I could install the iMessage app. Well, I had two hours, so yeah, I'll download it.

It warned me multiple restarts might be required. Again, no biggie. My only current occupation was GChatting.

The first message after my MacBook restarted said, "About 29 minutes remaining." This quickly corrected itself to "About 54 minutes remaining."

Thirty minutes later, it told me "About 53 minutes remaining."

Like, is this Interstellar?

As you can guess, the installation had not finished by the time class came. At least it had updated to "About 36 minutes remaining." So I let it run, downloaded Google Talk to my phone, and went to class. I GChatted with my classmates - who had working laptops - from my lap. Ironic, eh? (Don't be one of those people who now asks, "Is it really ironic?")

Class ends. I return to my MacBook and - you guessed it - "About 2 minutes remaining." Okay, we're close. I was leaving in 30 minutes; it had time.

Well, thirty minutes past, and darn, you're right again. "About 2 minutes remaining" remained on the screen. This is not cute, Apple, I thought.

I unplugged my MacBook and walked to yoga class with it in my backpack. Yoga wasn't for another hour, so I huddled in a corner with an outlet. I could feel my laptop burning through my backpack, working hard. I prepared for relief: At least say "About 1 minute remaining."

"About 2 minutes remaining."

What the fork, Apple?! This installation not only started four hours ago, it's been "About 2 minutes remaining" for two hours! You know, I don't even care that the installation takes a bit longer - assuming you're improving my product - just be honest about how long it will take!

So here I wait in purgatory. About 2 minutes remaining.

Epilogue

10:30 PM (nine hours later!!!). The installation has supposedly finished, but the screen is frozen on "Computer will restart in 10 seconds." Or maybe it's just lying per usual. I force-restart it.

And ermahgerd, once it's all said and done, I don't even have iMessage yet. That's a battle for another day.