A few weeks ago, I drove up to DC to visit my friend.  After lunch, we decided - that is, my friend decided - we needed to drop by her boyfriend's apartment go pick up a gift card she had left there. The last time I visited my friend, I had met this boyfriend and he had accused me of cheating at Monopoly. Now I am not the purest of souls, but I am not so depraved as to cheat at a board game. And so what if I had? Send me to jail.

I braced myself on the ride to his apartment. When we walked in, I felt a concentrated effort on his part not to make eye contact. I forced out a hello, and he stared at me.

"Hi," he said timelessly.