I don’t do music. In middle school band, I would bite my clarinet reed before every big performance and then mime along. It was so bad that at eighth grade graduation, I was asked to emcee rather than play.

This doesn't mean I don’t listen to music. I am at my most zen with iced coffee in hand and Spotify in my ear. I have even penned lyrics to songs that will never be developed because people probably would rather pay to not listen to tone deaf me sing.

Thankfully, other people produce music – including some of my friends. College is a time ripe with opportunity, and as a scheming opportunist, I’ve only ever aligned myself with people like that. Just kidding. But I do have a friend who has been on a conference call with Beyoncé. I say this as someone who’s not that impressed by Queen Bey (put up the partition, please), but like, he was on the phone with Bey. I don’t think it’s coincidence that rhymes with #bae.