Usually, when you get pills in the mail that you didn’t order, you throw them away and/or call the police. Not me. I decide to take them.
Last year I ordered something online, and when it arrived, it was accompanied by a promo sample of “Sculptify capsules.” The packaging included no ingredient list, only the words “No Crash, Rapid Fat-Loss, Explosive Thermogenic.”
Sane, rational me was initially going to toss the pills, because you don’t take mystery pills – that is how people die – but then I Googled. Besides seeing the pills contain toothed clubmoss (what the f**k is that?), I discovered they were caffeine pills. Okay, technically, they were a pre-workout, but that translates to caffeine. And I had been looking for a new power-up on my caffeine intake.
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