Sometimes I wonder how many times I’ve tweeted about coffee. It’s probably enough that Starbucks is considering hiring me as a brand ambassador. Except maybe not Starbucks, since I don’t have a lot of horribly nice things to say about their Flat White. But anyways, my veins are composed of the usual stuff, like blood, but probably also infused with either alcohol or coffee in a rotating pattern depending on day of the week and time of day.

There’s almost no point whatsoever talking to me before drinking coffee – just ask my roommate. Or my boss, who kicked off a Monday morning with, “Tell me what you learned last week at the training,” before my daily cup of joe. For that matter, before my bag was even shrugged off my shoulder. However, not the point.