A few weeks ago, I woke up on seven hours of sleep ready to conquer life, the world, and Mars without a drop of coffee. I remember thinking, wow, this is what real sleep feels like.

I had gone to bed the night before somewhat early, but considerably tipsy, after an evening spent with an attractive friend of a friend. Nothing spectacular happened, but I discovered I even left a fully made sandwich on my countertop before going to bed (ham, no less!). I scarfed the sandwich down and skipped down the sidewalk, practically singing bonjour to every human and squirrel I passed.