For a while, I’ve known that being Facebook friends means almost nothing. In early college, I went through a period where I added every soul I met on this earth, and years later, I have retained most of those acquaintances because I don’t defriend people. I don’t see the point in it. What am I hiding? You never know when you might need that connection one day.

Of course, people have defriended me. It’s always great when the dude you invited to your birthday in tenth grade now pops up under “People You May Know.” Hey…when did he cut me out of his friends list? Does our history not matter? I’ve known you since second grade.

Then there’s the senior class president of my high school. We knew each other all of high school, were Facebook friends certainly for all four years of that hellhole, and you would assume we would remain *Facebook friends* into the real world, not just because, you know, we were friends, but also because she was senior class president.