Two months ago I went on a quasi-date with "Jeanine." I never thought it a date until she referenced it as such, and so then I went with it. Later, we hung out, and the date came up.

"But you know we're just friends, right?" she said. "That's all I'm looking for."

I had deduced even before our date that Jeanine was a conglomerate of clinginess and hypochondria, so this was fine with me. I had to stop myself from nodding too fast to being "just friends" and mentioning she was too manic for me.