A few weeks ago, I found myself clubbing in DC with two friends, Emily and Justin. Near the night’s end, we decide to hit up the local McDonald’s before Ubering home. This became the first time I tasted McDonald’s 24/7 breakfast menu in all its egg McMuffin glory.

The three of us find a booth and have only unwrapped our bacon McDoubles (okay, Justin got that; I certainly got the egg McMuffin) when we’re accosted by a gangly, older man. He points at Emily and starts screaming and clapping.