Yesterday I discussed Snapchat's latest update and how Snapchat has ignited friendship wars in the past. Everyone wants to be their best friend's top Snapchat user - or maybe that's just me. But relationships have ended over this sort of thing.

Thankfully, I'm single, so that's never happened to me. And Snapchat is just an inane app for sending selfies, so why do I care who my friends' top Snappers are - as long as I'm in the top spot? That's right, folks: Ever since discovering Snapchat in January 2013, I have managed to maintain a monopoly over many of my friend's top spot. It wasn't hard; all I had to do was Snapchat pictures whenever I bought iced coffee, battled through grad school projects late at night, or heard a great song on the radio. I don't worry about my friends' top spot because I know I have dominion.