As Told Over Brunch

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The 24 Lessons I Learned at 23

As I'm wrapping up another year of life, I can't help but reflect on how much of a growth year 23 was for me. I was measurably more mature than I was at 21, past the indecision of age 22, yet not as settled into myself as I perceive I will be at 24.

Here are the 24 things I learned from the monumental year of 23:

  1. Those people who matter will stay in contact with you, will make commitments to see you, and will love you through the silent months of friendship.
  2. Those who don't matter will fade from your life or will make half-assed attempts to see you that inevitably fall through. Don't pay attention to those people.
  3. Day-long hangovers are real. And from what I gather, only continue to get worse in the coming years.
  4. You're worth more than you give yourself credit for, both in what you make and how you're treated.
  5. Demand what you're worth, because no one will just hand it to you.
  6. Tinder makes dating seem easier, but makes most "dates" worthless.
  7. Working out at least every other day isn't that hard and really pays off.
  8. Eating the recommended serving size is really hard, but really pays off.
  9. There are a ton of wrong guys out there for you, but with every wrong one you meet, you've at least narrowed down your search for the right one.
  10. If you are the person who picks up friends at the side of the road, when your Taurus treats you wrong, you'll be blessed to have people that come retrieve you from the car shop.
  11. You're never too old to learn an instrument and join a band.
  12. If learning a new instrument isn't on your bucket list, try something else new. Learn something. Try something. Do something. Challenge yourself.
  13. Being single and/or alone doesn't make you lonely, unless you let yourself be lonely.
  14. Being alone gives you a chance to realize that you yourself are enough. You're always enough.
  15. Find ways to refresh your perspective, whether it's at work or in your beliefs.
  16. Don't let life scare you: travel, sight-see, spend money, drink too much. Experience everything.
  17. Don't dance like no one is watching; dance like everyone is watching and you know you're killing it.
  18. Some days are just hard. Some weeks are just terrible. But then one day it gets better and you're stronger for it.
  19. Love your grandparents. They're gone too quickly and then you end up wishing you called them more and hoping they know how much you loved them.
  20. Detach your cell phone from your hand every now and then. There's a lot of life outside the screen.
  21. Host gatherings at your house. It's worth the mess and expense.
  22. Appreciate what you've got. 23 is a prime age: everything's in flux, and you're still figuring it out, but there's countless reasons to sit down and smile for the life you have.
  23. Not everyone is going to inherently respect you, and sometimes you have to fight to overcome people's perception of your age and gender, but you can win them over. And it'll feel even better once you do.
  24. Get married/have babies/ move far away/ quit your job/ get a dog/ buy a house/ lease a new car. Or don't. Everyone's going to tell you what you should be doing at your age, or what they did at your age, or holding you to their timeline. But it's your life, and what people think you should be doing is by no means what you should actually be doing. Have the confidence to do you, and do you happily.
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