As Told Over Brunch

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What's the Cure for Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome?

I talk a lot, which statistically opens me up for more air time for me to say something inappropriate. Or rude. Or something I didn't mean. Or something that I don't realize is bad until it's out there.

I've actually been focusing on this as a "room for improvement" area in my life. When I'm comfortable, I just say things without caution. It's both a blessing and a curse, because sometimes it's really funny. And sometimes it sucks all the air of a place.

I'm here to focus on the latter portion of those options. Those times I want to hide under a desk, blanket or other shelter, for those times I wonder, "Why the hell did I just say that?"

That's the Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome.

It's the moment where the conversation is reeling, and I'm scrambling to find something else to say to bandaid the situation. I'm here today to air my grievances of myself. 

I'm a well-intentioned person, and I know firsthand how much words can hurt. So I take this pretty seriously.

A few weeks ago, jokes were getting kind of weird around 4:30 at work, and I said something flippant about disagreeing about what to eat when you're pregnant.

I'm not pregnant, nor have I ever been pregnant, so I'm really just shooting from the hip. We're talking about drinking while pregnant, playing baby catch and fake-dropping babies. And out of all of that, I say something about finding out the repercussions later. 

Foot, meet mouth.

The conversation dies immediately, and I look around, wondering who shot the sheriff. Oh wait, it was me. I did that. I think people were looking around to see if I was kidding, but I thought we were all kidding... I mean we were talking about kid tossing. But the conversation definitely died after I spoke. 

I start rambling incoherently, trying to fix my blunder, "Was that really bad? I really didn't mean anything by it. I'm so sorry!"

I really didn't mean anything by it, and I really am sorry, but do I keep apologizing? Do I keep talking to try to shove it down? Do I bring it back up the next day to apologize again? How do I make this less weird? Am I the only one, days later, still wondering if someone secretly hates me?

But really, how do you remedy Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome?

Is it best to let it die, since it was minor? Or do I keep bringing it back up and hope that the person knows that I've genuinely felt bad about it for day?

I've decided to try to let it die, since last time I tried to remedy foot-in-mouth with apologizing, I got made fun of mercilessly. I sent a seemingly demanding email because I had left off any pleasantries,l and apologized twice for it. Then I brought it up again in-person because the email seemed that bitchy that I wanted to make sure we were okay. And everyone made fun of how I was still talking about it.

Really, other than avoiding saying things you shouldn't (which I've lessened slightly but will never eradicate), how do you treat Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome? I'm still reeling from it.

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