It Worked for Johnny Cash

So lately a topic of conversation has been my style, which is hilarious to me because I have no style. I wear what is closest to me, what is clean, or what seems fitting for the occasion. It has caught me totally off guard that people actually think there is something visually appealing about whatever finds its way onto my body. Here is my best way of explaining what my attire consists of:

• All my nice cloths are gifts from my sister (ie dress shirts, skirts, casual shirts, jewelry, scarves, etc.) Basically she has style and buys things for me.
• Old sweaters that I have taken from my mom. This includes some from the 70's.
• Items from goodwill and pass downs from others.
• Cardigans and jeans.
• Funny colored pants (hot pink, yellow, maroon, floral)
• Black and white everything.
• Boots and boat shoes.

Taking the first two bullets, it is safe to say that at least half my outfits were not bought by me, and many were never intended for me. Then I think any "summer" outfit can be made into colder season outfits by throwing a cardigan over it.

I hate taking the time to match things, so sometimes I'll wear a thick sweater from the 70's with boots that look like I could be a biker. When over half your attire comes from external sources, it's really difficult to assemble outfits that actually go coherently, ESPECIALLY with the fact that my sister is a stylish preppy dresser and I pick out clothes based off of how on sale it is.

Lately, I have also been buying black clothes. It didn't start intentionally, but I bought a few pairs of colored pants, so I bought some black tops to go with them. Then it turned into me just buying black clothes because it's easier to match things with black. I got a bit of shit about it lately, but hey, it worked for Johnny Cash, so why can't I do it?

Anyways, I'm sure if you've made it this far, you're wondering where this post is going. So here it is:

there is no such thing as not having a style.

While I consider my outfits sort of compromises of the least objectionable collection of items, people think it makes me look versatile, professional yet personable, and a modern representation of a working woman. So, even if you think you look crazed some days, someone is going to look at you and think you've got a bit of swagger.

On Being Sorry

I apologize if this opinion piece offends you. Wait, no I don't. I have a right to have opinions, and people have a right to disagree with them, so why do I always apologize for expressing myself? Often at work I know something relevant and do not share with my boss for fear she will disagree, or when I correct her, I apologize. Why? Why should I apologize for having expertise and wanting to help the situation? Do I really need to apologize for being right or having a different but equally important opinion?

I apologize in arguments all the time to make them end, especially in relationships I care about most. Even when I know I am right or giving in, I'll just apologize to make the conflict go away.

I never considered the implications of my over-apologizes until I talked with my slightly older project manager. When you are apologizing, you are admitting a level of guilt. Why do I- and some other women in work- admit guilt in situations just to spare people's emotions? My coworker and I had an insightful dialogue about it, and in the end I realized I need to stop apologizing.

I have opinions and thoughts and do not need to be sorry about it. Just because I am young does not mean my authority in my field is not adequate. Even when I am wrong, I shouldn't have to feel bad about it because people are wrong all the time. As long as I can balance between enforcing my authority and considering people's feelings, I should be able to make a contribution without apologies.

So go out there and have creative differences and work to the best possible outcome in a respectfully unapologetic fashion.