Earlier this week, my friend posted on Facebook that she needed a cat sitter for the weekend. She worded it as a “limited time offer. I repeat: A whole weekend of kitten time with the cutest cat in the world and then you get to give her back. WOW! Order right now! P.S. This is dead serious. Help me.”

She sounded like me if I was trying to give away a tarantula: “It has six more legs than you could ever want! And look at those pincers! Available until someone takes it from of me and drops a textbook on it. P.S. SOS.”