Getting Home on New Year's Eve: The Tow Truck Taxi
Five years ago, my friend had me over for New Year's Eve. I was 20 at the time, not yet of legal age to drink, but of course I did (so sorry, Mom). Needless to say, we drank at my friend's house.
Now I drove to my friend's. Earlier in the day I had seen AAA had a New Year's Eve program where they provided free safe (and sober) transportation to members and non-members. This was 2011, so Uber and Lyft were not things. Aha, this is how I would get home.
Of course, my friend said I could stay over, but I preferred my own bed and this was a free service. Why wouldn't I use it? the selfish millennial in me asked. I showed up without even a toothbrush in case I changed my mind.
Read MoreSpeak Up About Drunk Driving
I find it hard to get worked up about a lot of things. During the elections, I got in no arguments, Facebook or otherwise, with the hoodwinked imbeciles who voted for the unfiltered Putin wannabe. When my apartment came under a mouse invasion, I frowned and remarked we needed to buy some traps (versus my roommate who was ready to declare nuclear war on rodents and landlords). When my project partner didn't do her part, I tweeted passive aggressively and did it for her.
But there is one thing that gets my embers glowing: drunk driving. In 2016, the public sentiment tends to be, don't do it (can we say it louder for those in the back?). I stand and applaud this (and I keep clapping long after the audience has retaken their seats). Driving under the influence is barbaric, selfish, unnecessary, and every other negative adjective I can grab.
Read MoreKeep the Gift, Ya Filthy Animal
A couple of years ago, I participated in a Secret Santa. We filled out a questionnaire on our interests and wants, including our favorite candy and superhero. I almost wrote, "You better not get me anything superhero-related." We had a $25 price cap. I wanted to further write, "Buy me my favorite DVD or get me a Starbucks gift card and call it a day."
One of my best friends ended up drawing my name. At the Secret Santa, she handed me a gift basket of Three Musketeers and microwave popcorn.
What.
Read MoreThe Tacky Light Fun Run Conundrum
Last week my running friend, Ally, told me about the “Tacky Light Fun Run” that she discovered on Facebook. The local running store in Carytown would be coordinating a run through Richmond to see holiday lights in the Fan, Oregon Hill, and downtown. Ally asked if I wanted to go and suggested that we dress up. I thought it would be fun and clicked attending on Facebook alongside Ally.
The day of the run, the event hosts posted the route and wrote, "Hope to see you at 6 PM! Dress up :)" I didn’t have anything festive to wear other than electric blue tights so I hurried to the Dollar Tree in the afternoon and bought green tinsel, an elf hat, a bell ornament, glow-in-the-dark sticks, and a big red bow to decorate myself.
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What's the Cure for Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome?
I talk a lot, which statistically opens me up for more air time for me to say something inappropriate. Or rude. Or something I didn't mean. Or something that I don't realize is bad until it's out there.
I've actually been focusing on this as a 'room for improvement' area in my life. When I'm comfortable, I just say things without caution. It's both a blessing and a curse, because sometimes it's really funny. And sometimes it sucks all the air of a place.
Read MoreAccidentally Mis-Managing Christmas Gift Expectations
I'm chronically in pain over getting people Christmas gifts. 2014 was a good year for me, and last year was relatively okay too.
Except for the minor problem that I accidentally got my brother a super cool Christmas present.
Read MoreCaffeine, My Heartbeat, and Me
Usually, when you get pills in the mail that you didn’t order, you throw them away and/or call the police. Not me. I decide to take them.
Last year I ordered something online, and when it arrived, it was accompanied by a promo sample of “Sculptify capsules.” The packaging included no ingredient list, only the words “No Crash, Rapid Fat-Loss, Explosive Thermogenic.”
Sane, rational me was initially going to toss the pills, because you don’t take mystery pills – that is how people die – but then I Googled. Besides seeing the pills contain toothed clubmoss (what the f**k is that?), I discovered they were caffeine pills. Okay, technically, they were a pre-workout, but that translates to caffeine. And I had been looking for a new power-up on my caffeine intake.
Read MoreInane House Chores that Makes Me Feel Like an Adult
Sometimes it's the little things that really count. When I bought my house I had never really done a lot of housework before, and then all of a sudden I'm taking care of a yard, trying to fix things when they're breaking and dealing with the bugs that I used to just wait until someone else killed.
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The Edge of 25: What's Next?
For the last several months, I lived my life looking forward to one thing: going to Qatar. I found out I would have the opportunity to venture to the Middle East in late April, and ever since then that was the focal point of my calendar. Sure, I had other things planned – a trip to Amsterdam, a trip to Key West, another trip to Chicago, a marathon to run, a half-marathon before that, a dissertation to propose, several friends’ weddings, and friend reunions. But Qatar was the thing I was desperate to see and do and enthrall myself in.
And then I went. And it was awesome (and it has taken me over five weeks since returning to sit down and write about the experience, but I promise, it’s coming). But I got back, thought about my wonderful time there, and then continued lying in bed.
I think it is natural, if not always healthy, to live life living milestone to milestone. We anticipate upcoming big events like the ones listed above. But eventually, you realize you can’t sustain yourself that way. Or at least you probably shouldn’t.
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