Being a Small Fish in a Big Pond

There's something to be said for working in a small office and wearing a lot of hats, but there's even more to be said about being a gopher in a cubicle. I always thought small office work was more for me. Everyone would know me, I'd have more responsibility, and would have an opportunity to do more. To some extent, some of that was true, but there are more reasons to love a large office than I expected. I originally thought that I would be "just a number" at a large company, but I've never felt like that. Since day one, which admittedly was only a week and a day ago, everyone in my department either knew who I was, or at least was aware of my presence. My team makes the large office seem small. We work together and make the cubicle laden place seem like a little community. Coming from a small office, it is actually nice to be surrounded by so many people that are willing to help and bounce ideas off of. I have felt more creative and inspired with all of the talent that surrounds me daily.

Another myth I had in my head about large offices was that you only do one thing over and over again. Again, I am only in my second week, but there is much more content coming in, so while my role might be more narrow, there is actually much more variety now. Also, because I am doing a more narrow job, there is more potential for me to become really, really good at something, rather than workable across a variety of tasks.

I was also nervous about a large office because I thought there would be less trust in me. I could not be further from reality. Because they did intense background checks, several panel interviews, and a skills assessment, they were aware of my capabilities coming in, and therefore trusted me almost instantly. With a vetting process, I was posting tweets on my second day. By my second week, I have been granted full access to all social media accounts, given a phone and an ipad, and encouraged to offer my input at meetings.

My last major concern about a big office was I figured I would have less potential to make things happened. I pictured working at a big office being essentially like having my hands tied, in that there would be so many standard operating procedures that I would have no opportunity to be a change agent. However, being in a big company gives you opportunities to use all of these resources that are simply not available in a smaller office. If I think a Facebook post should be boosted, there is a budget for it. If I need color coded stickies, there is a whole office supplies closet to raid.

Beyond just overturning every notion I had about working in a large office, there has even been additional perks that I never expect. The obvious perks are tangibles like a new computer, a huge monitor, ipad, and iPhone with less flashy perks such as retirement plans, benefit packages, and life insurance also adding to the list. But beyond all of those work perks, there's something to be said for being surrounded by people constantly. While sometimes human interaction takes away from work, it drives me to work harder. When you are constantly seeing other people work passionately towards the same cause as you, there is no way you can slack off. While I can only see one way to get something done, there are constantly other ideas always improving my work.

So while I may be a small fish in a big pond these days, I'm a highly important little guppy making the ecosystem healthier.

The Changing Times of Social Media

Disclaimer: This article is all my opinions backed with nothing except my experiences. Disagree? Great, write it in the comments. I wish I was one of those people that was cool enough to be on MySpace, but my dad was too concerned about online trolls to allow me to be on that site, so I was a late bloomer on social media and didn't get a Facebook until senior year of high school. Despite my late start, social media has changed vastly since I began roughly five years ago. Facebook used to be the mecca of all things social media and nothing else mattered. I'd say Facebook is being dwarfed these days. Maybe not by one other site taking over its reign or its universal appeal, but Facebook isn't quite the end-all-be-all that it used to be. Here's the evolution/devolution of every social media site on my plate:

Facebook: When I joined Facebook, all my friends were already on it, and now 97% of everyone in my age bracket is on Facebook. While that's a whole lotta people, I don't see Facebook as that big of a deal to me anymore. It's a part of my life, but not as consuming or entertaining as it used to be. Since everyone's on it, there's too much happening and I feel like I can't concentrate on anything in particular anymore.

Purpose of medium: I use it to keep track of friends, sort of like a rolodex. It also serves as my photo album, as I never take pictures anymore. Do I post my feelings on there? Hellz no and you'll bother me if you do. It's too wide of a network for you to be splattering yours emotions everywhere. Keep it in check.

Award: My first love. Facebook will always have a piece of my heart but it isn't my primary concern anymore.

Twitter: I actually joined Twitter right when it came out, and then quickly deleted it. I didn't understand it and I had no one to follow that I knew. Then I took a social media class that forced me to get Twitter. And I HATED IT!! People were just whining all the time and sending out stupid links and for the life of me I could not figure out why anyone would be on it. Then I took another social media class and refined my list to useful, newsworthy sources and next thing I knew, I loved Twitter. I love the simplicity. Coming from Facebook, where there's so much happening (events, groups, messaging, posts, polls, etc. etc.), I embraced the condensed nature of the medium.

Purpose of medium: I use Twitter to entertain me, as well as gather news. I follow friends, but mainly I like Twitter for news and entertainment. In good fashion, I use Twitter most to keep abreast of social media and technology changes.

Award: My favorite and most-used.

Instagram: I just got Instagram when I got a smart phone post-grad. AND I LOVE IT. It's a place to put those pictures that are too chummy for Facebook. My entire family is on Facebook, but none of them are on Instagram. I also love Instagram because it's low thought. You never have to read anything. You can just look at pretty pictures and keep it moving.

Purpose of medium: Another photo album that doesn't need to be seen by an entire Facebook network.

Award: The most atheistically pleasing

Foursquare: I am even more of a n00b on Foursquare. And you know my thoughts on it: nice try, but did not materialize like anyone would have hoped. None of my friends are on it, nor do I particularly like checking in places because I am terrified of someone stalking me.

Purpose of medium: I only stay on this social network for two reasons:

1. My boss told me I had to be on Foursqare

2. It helps my Klout score (and for no good reason, I am somewhat obsessed with my Klout score)

Award: Most likely to encourage stalking

Pinterest: I used to be OBSESSED with Pinterest. Absolutely obsessed. I pinned the shit out of everything. I'd waste hours making boards. Then I got bored and gave up and never went back. The end of that. It's probably for the best, as I was becoming a recluse planning my future wedding, babies, and closet on a budget that I will NEVER have.

Purpose of medium: Organize a fantasy life that you will never have and then feel sorry for yourself that you will never have any of it, until you read your "quotes" board and convince yourself that it will all work out in the end, since you're a strong person, or whatever that inspirational quote you pinned a few weeks ago is telling you.

Award: Most like meth, or at least I'd assume, as I've never done meth, but basically the most addicting social media site you can use.

Vine: I've never used it, but I've seen some Vines before and it bothers me that people think they're hot shit because they're "Vine Famous" and then announce it in all of their videos, like being Vine famous is something worth bragging about, when in reality it just means you have no life and dedicate yourself to taking videos of yourself all day.

Purpose of medium: To make videos of yourself to amuse complete strangers with all the strange faces and weird bodily noises you can make.

Award: Most annoying

Google+: Is this even a thing anymore?....

Purpose of medium: Wait so is it still around?...

Award: The Facebook with No Friends Award. It's tough to be social when no one is in that social network.

Making the Tough Decisions

As one might imply, making tough decisions is never easy. You might have pictured your life in one particular way, and within a few months, every facet of your life might share no common element from the previous life you had. And from what I've learned, getting to that point is difficult and filled with big decisions that have every right to keep you up at night. Since graduating college, I've made lots of changes, some that I still contemplate to this day. Some make me feel guilty. Some make me feel like I gave up. Some make me really happy. And some just make me wonder what it would be like if I went back, even knowing what I know now.

As I'm sitting on the threshold of a huge change in my life, I am stuck in limbo of excessive excitement for the future, and an odd desire for the past. It's difficult to move forward, knowing that you are leaving behind the last thread of the life you had originally planned for yourself.

But I am encouraged by the immense support that my friends and family have shown me, and by the faith I have in being handed an opportunity that seems to fit perfectly into my life, despite it being a nerve-wracking change that will forever alienate the past from the present.

On Taking Advice

A few weeks ago, someone was talking about using StumbleUpon, and I was like, "OMG that's not even a thing anymore!" Seriously, hadn't been on that website in years, and I have long since thought it gave way to Buzzfeed, Reddit, and Mashable. So naturally, I dug out my old password and got back into stumbling just to see if it still enthralled me like it used it. I can't possibly conceive wasting the amount of time I used to on the site, but it was still fun and entertaining. This one article from it stuck with me above all the rest, "45 Life Lessons, written by a 90 year old."

I can't say I take advice very well. People tell me things and I consider it, and then do whatever I feel like anyways. However, I love reading advice and seeing if any of it matches up with things I already think about or were planning on doing. So, when I stumbled upon the article with 45 pieces of advice, it seems natural to ignore 44 of them and listen to one:

"Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple."

This is my favorite piece of advice from the list because sometimes I imagine being old and getting away with everything. No one gets mad when old people say mean things because they grew up in a different time or they don't know what that means in this day and age. Old people can wear whatever they want and NO ONE SAYS SHIT TO THEM. I'd love to be old, except for all the health issues and the whole being closer to death thing.

So any advice that tells me that you can embody the old person eccentricities without being old, I'm all in. Out of all the advice from that list, I probably picked the worst one to follow. Here's how I applied it in real life:

No one would suggest this as a work outfit, except that old lady that said I am allowed to be eccentric. And you know what I have to say?

I LOVE IT!

No one else likes this outfit. There's glitter, sheer, boots, yellow, Ray Bans, a cardigan. Total confusion, but you know what? There's no point in waiting until you're old to be who you are.

A Day of Baldness

Disclaimer: Sorry in advance for offending you, Britney Spears, I did it with love.  Naturally when my sister's group of friends decided to dress up as different Britney Spears throughout the ages, someone HAD to be Breakdown Britney of 2007. Since I am not actually in the group of friends, somehow I took it upon myself to be bald Brit.

I must say, being dressed in workout clothes as a costume was a plus, but being bald was pretty hard. Here are some of the more memorable moments of my time as a bald pop star:

• "She must be the one in the group with a boyfriend." Obviously no one single would ever volunteer to go out on the town looking like this (except for me, apparently): 
• "You really have a lot of courage coming out today as a bald person." I would take this as a compliment, but it seems somewhat offensive. I know bald people that leave their house everyday and no one tells them how confident they must be.
• From across the room, I hear someone meeting all the other Britney's and they go, "THERE MUST BE A BREAKDOWN ONE IN HERE." Yes, yes, thank you for the enthusiasm.
• Drinks were accepted in appreciation of this costume. My advice that attaches to this one is: the weirder you look, the more attention you get, which, even when you're not looking good, might have positive results.
• One of the most puzzling things I came to realize is that even without hair, guys still talked to me. Take that for what you will.
• My head was scratchy with the stocking on all day, so it was pretty encouraging to know that perfect strangers were willing to scratch it for me, upon request.
• One of the biggest lessons I learned: being bald might qualify you to go cut the men's bathroom line, even if it is just because everyone is staring at you.
• The best part might have actually been nearer the end of the night, when the stocking fell out and I had given up on being bald, and NO ONE recognized me. It's like my hair made me a whole new woman.

So, this coming Thursday, go confidently in whatever Halloween outfit you might be wearing and enjoy it! Even if you look absurd, people will still appreciate you taking one for the team for a group of friends that are not even yours.

1 month of Bootcamp: In Review

So last month my roommates and I bought a Groupon for one month of deeply discounted bootcamp classes. I'd like to lose a bit of weight, so obviously we signed up and went frequently. The first week was hell, as to be expected. I walked with a limp, but not in one of those cool rappers sort of way. We were also expected to eat healthy, so my roommates and I tossed the sweets and replaced dressings with oil.

The second week was hell, but not because of the workouts. Those, I had become accustom to. It was because we were told to cut out bread. It was like asking me to move to the desert and not drink water. I couldn't fathom life without bread, but they coached us on how to replace bread with lettuce wraps, how to make pizza on non-dough, etc.

We moved forth with this, unhappily eating lettuce wraps and pretending it was comparable to bread. It never was. So in our last week, my roommate and I gave up on that task. And you know what happened?

I ate bread like it was going extinct.

I devoured anything carb related in my sight. Let me tell you, you have NO idea how hard life is without bread (unless you're gluten-free, to which I empathize with). I have always been a carb loader, so taking bread away basically gave me withdrawals. Now that bootcamp is over, I'm not working out anymore and I am probably eating more bread than ever to make up for those two weeks without it.

It's pretty shameful. We worked out every damn day for a month, and the moment it ends, I revert right back to my old ways. The only thing I've kept doing is drinking massive amount of water, which supposedly helps you lose weight. It's not even that I like water that much, but it's a great excuse to get out of my desk all the time.

As great as a Groupon may seem for a month of bootcamp, I would recommend not taking it, unless you can actually afford the full price, or else you set yourself up for failure. I had all these expectations and goals, but with only a month, they're not too realistic. Knowing it was only a month took away a lot of the value because I knew it was all short term changes and not enduring life changes. I'm sure I didn't lose any weight, and I'm sure I'll be out of shape again in no time.

A Yankee in the Heart of the Confederacy

Whenever people find out I am from Connecticut, they automatically ask a series of predictable questions:

• What are you doing in Virginia?
• What is the biggest difference between the North and South?
• I've never been to Connecticut. Is it like the Gilmore Girls?
• Do I feel out of place?

In an effort to combat a lot of inquiries, here is my best way of explaining the difference between where I used to live to where I live now:

What are you doing in Virginia?

I came to Virginia for college and liked it so much I decided to move to Richmond permanently. A huge factor of that is that I got hired in Richmond and nowhere in Connecticut, so that really helps the decision.

What is the biggest difference between the North and South?

The biggest difference from Connecticut to Richmond isn't as big as anyone thinks. It's not like I moved from New York, New York to some bumbly town in Alabama (sorry Alabama). There are nice people that live in both locations and there are mean people in both places. There is a lot more snow in Connecticut, but Richmond gets a fall, which I know is what everyone stereotypes the South as lacking.

The word ya'll is pretty different. That one still gets me and makes me giggle a bit. We don't do that up North.

I've never been to Connecticut.

Of course most people don't go to Connecticut. Unless you have family up there or are passing through to go to New York, there is no huge draw to come to Connecticut. It is a lovely place, but I get it, there's nothing to make you want to visit.

Is it like the Gilmore Girls?

While I'm sure some of Connecticut is just like Rory's life in Gilmore Girls, that was not what my life was like at all. We don't all wear sweaters and drive BMW's to school, even though I would very much enjoy that.

Do I feel out of place?

And no, I have never felt out of place. Richmond is not as "southern" as people make it sound, nor are the differences even that significant. People need to stop making it sound like once you cross the Mason-Dixon line, life changes abruptly and all of a sudden you are in a new country.

I loved Connecticut. I had a great life and a great group of friends and family. However, I needed a change and a fresh start, and that is what Virginia provided me. I know people that grew up in Richmond and are dying to move away. If you stay anywhere for long enough, you'll probably want out. But don't expect that moving a few states away will be so foreign that you'll be feeling a significant amount of culture shock.

It Worked for Johnny Cash

So lately a topic of conversation has been my style, which is hilarious to me because I have no style. I wear what is closest to me, what is clean, or what seems fitting for the occasion. It has caught me totally off guard that people actually think there is something visually appealing about whatever finds its way onto my body. Here is my best way of explaining what my attire consists of:

• All my nice cloths are gifts from my sister (ie dress shirts, skirts, casual shirts, jewelry, scarves, etc.) Basically she has style and buys things for me.
• Old sweaters that I have taken from my mom. This includes some from the 70's.
• Items from goodwill and pass downs from others.
• Cardigans and jeans.
• Funny colored pants (hot pink, yellow, maroon, floral)
• Black and white everything.
• Boots and boat shoes.

Taking the first two bullets, it is safe to say that at least half my outfits were not bought by me, and many were never intended for me. Then I think any "summer" outfit can be made into colder season outfits by throwing a cardigan over it.

I hate taking the time to match things, so sometimes I'll wear a thick sweater from the 70's with boots that look like I could be a biker. When over half your attire comes from external sources, it's really difficult to assemble outfits that actually go coherently, ESPECIALLY with the fact that my sister is a stylish preppy dresser and I pick out clothes based off of how on sale it is.

Lately, I have also been buying black clothes. It didn't start intentionally, but I bought a few pairs of colored pants, so I bought some black tops to go with them. Then it turned into me just buying black clothes because it's easier to match things with black. I got a bit of shit about it lately, but hey, it worked for Johnny Cash, so why can't I do it?

Anyways, I'm sure if you've made it this far, you're wondering where this post is going. So here it is:

there is no such thing as not having a style.

While I consider my outfits sort of compromises of the least objectionable collection of items, people think it makes me look versatile, professional yet personable, and a modern representation of a working woman. So, even if you think you look crazed some days, someone is going to look at you and think you've got a bit of swagger.

Making my Office More Conducive to My Creativity

I do some of my best thinking in some pretty identifiable places. I know myself well enough to know that when I need to think about an important matter I need to get to a certain place. Furthermore, I know where I need to go to feel most creative. My office desk doesn't fall into either of these categories. That made me think:

What if I could make my office more like all of my most intellectually stimulating zones?

The Shower

Hands down, if I need to clear my head or make a major decision, I take a shower. Naturally, I wanted to contemplate why the shower is such a good place for me to think, so I got in the shower. Here's the list of answers I came up with:

• I am alone with my thoughts.
• There are no distractions.
• I feel safe.
• I'm relaxed.
• I'm warm.
• I'm naked.

(The last one, I'm not sure actually helps my thought process, but it does make me comfier.)

My Bed

My bed is where I come up with all my inane, crazy, creative ideas that inspire me to actually take action on something. While my most practical ideas happen in the shower, my best and most inspired ideas happen in those moments right before I go to sleep, or right when I wake up. Why?

• I am alone with my thoughts.
• There are no distractions.
• I feel safe.
• I'm relaxed.
• I'm warm.
• I'm naked.

But what perplexes me most is why the shower and bed have different affects on my cognition. You would think that since the list is identical, the shower and bed would have the same effect, but they definitely do not. I'm thinking it is the state of mind I am in more than where I am.

So, how would I make my office more similar to my favorite thinking zones?

Is that even a question? Obviously I need a bed and a shower in my office. Or better yet, I can just work from home, since just any bed won't be the same.

Or maybe I can find a way to replicate the sentiments of safety within my own office, which might be a more practical answer.

Lunch Break Confusion

Lunch used to be my time to get away from everything in the office and relax. It was my 45 minutes of sunshine. These two past weeks have turned that time into a time of confusion and struggles. Last week it was the stalker, as accounted in Why Can't you just Stick to Stalking Me Online, and this week it was autumn picking on me. I always take my lunch sitting outside at the picnic tables. However, it's rained and been cold every day this week, which poses a real problem for my routine.

On Monday, I was still wary that my stalker would be around, so my roommate brought her family to come eat lunch with me. By Tuesday, she was back working, so I needed to grow up and take lunch alone again. However, it was raining, so I decided just to eat in the office. I was surrounded by my work, so it wasn't relaxing in the least and I ended up working for the entirety of it. I went stir crazy by the end of the day, so I knew on Wednesday I'd need a new plan.

Since it was cold and raining, I knew sitting outside wasn't an option, so I left my office and ate in my car. I knew I needed to get out of the office, but I already had brought lunch, so i didn't have an excuse to go sit in a restaurant. So in my car in the parking garage I sat. It was weird, so I didn't want to do that again.

Thursday I decided to go pick up my birth control so I'd have a reason to leave for lunch. That excursion lasted all of 5 minutes, so I decided that maybe sitting in my car in a new location wouldn't be as bad. It wasn't AS bad, but still weird.

So here came Friday, where I ended up sitting in my car in yet another different parking lot. I don't want any businesses to think I'm creepy, so I'm trying to vary it up and park far away from the door. As I sit here, I wonder; what do people do for lunch breaks when they can't sit outside? My roommate goes to buy lunch everyday so she can sit inside, but I just don't see that fitting into my budget. There no lounge in my building. And staying at my desk for nine hours without reprieve makes me crazy. I miss in college when there were plenty of buildings you could sit in and wait around in without it being weird.

The only factor making me feel a little bit better about my car lunches is that there's a guy a few parking spots away also enjoying his car lunch. Here's to confusing lunchtimes!