Is Selfie-Confidence the New Self-Confidence?

A guy once did a good creep over of all my social media accounts and asked/told me: "You're a good-looking girl, but there's no selfies so you must lack self-confidence?" We never talked again because what the hell.

But then it happened again. A new friend request, then a few days later, "It's weird that you don't post pictures of yourself anywhere. Why is that?"

That was less bizarre to me, so I engaged further in the dialogue, only to be met eventually with the question as to why I wouldn't put up more selfies of myself UNLESS I didn't have confidence in my physical looks.

This time, though, it did make me really wonder about it. Why am I getting slammed for not posting pictures of myself? Doesn't it mean something that I value myself enough, and have enough confidence on my own, without needed the "likes" and approvals of my social media peers? Is "omg hawt" from my friend that feels morally obligated to comment on a selfie really supposed to make my heart flutter with self-confidence?

Why is it now assumed that because I don't take daily pictures of myself and subject my followers to scroll through them imply that I am a heifer? I mean, I am self- aware enough to know I am no model, but I am also confident enough to know that my looks don't make people want to burn their eyes out. Or at least, no one has yet to burn their eyes out after seeing me, that I know of.

If this is a sign of the times, I want out.

I want back to the days where a guy will compliment you in person, and not just throw you a "like" on one of your super-filtered is that even you anymore selfies and call it a day. Let's #throwbackthursday to a time before #wcw'ing someone was a way of telling them you liked them. Oh. My. Gosh. Maybe we can even talk about our feelings face to face and not via text messages rife with ambiguous emojis.

Nah, I'm probably asking too much.

Friend Your Mom

In college, lots of my professors warned about being cautious about what you post on social media. Despite your best efforts, employers can find anything they want about you online, including your social media pages. So how do you prepare your profile to be seen by people that potentially hold your future in their hands? The easiest way to to do that is friend your mom. If you don't want your mom to see it, you definitely don't want it on Facebook. That picture of you passed out after a long night of partying? Nope, momma won't want to see that. Don't put it on Facebook. That cuss-filled post sub-texting everyone on your feed? Mother won't be happy. Keep it to yourself.

I know when my mom first joined Facebook, I was nervous that she was going to be that mom who blows up the feed with "WHAT A CUTIE," and "WHO IS THAT IN THIS PICTURE," etc. But, it's actually really easy to avoid that. You know how?

You talk to her. I explained to my mom that everyone can see everything you do on Facebook, so comment sparingly. Please try not to "like" every photo in an album, especially if it's not even my album. If you have something disproving /inside joke-ish / mom-ish, please take it up with me in a private manner.

And my mom has been a Facebook gem. She comments on things, and it's always appropriate and probably only once or twice annoying. I say that now, though, and she'll probably read this and go HAM all over my wall just to be silly (hi, mom, still glad we're friends).

The Mirror Replacement: Vitamins

Sometimes what's happening in my head isn't clearly communicated to the rest of the world. And almost all of the time when that's happening, I'm not noticing it until I get nothing but a blank stare back. Yesterday I was scheduled for a hair appointment. I had purchased the cut off groupon, where I get all my haircuts. No really, I buy all my haircuts off groupon. Anyways, I knew I wouldn't have to use my card, so I'd need cash to pay the tip. So in the small window of time between work and my appointment, I knew I needed to run to Bank of America.

But wait, what's right across the street from the ATM? Just the Target I go to at least once a week. And you know what Target sells? Those cheap, not heavy $5 mirrors, which is exactly what I need. I need a cheap, not heavy mirror to replace the one my landlords took back, but after the mirror fall of 2014, a not heavy one is key.

So my new plan, rather than the ATM is to run into Target, get the mirror and get cash back. They do do cash back, right? Fingers crossed.

I quite literally jog into Target, speed walk back to the mirror isle, and grab what appears to be the cheap mirror. Nay, it feels too heavy to be the $5 mirror, but I grab it to scan at the end of the isle just to be safe. I'm not sure what's more embarrassing, me knowing where the self scanners are in the Willow Lawn Target, or the awkward straddling that went on for me to try to get the bar code to scan.

Eventually, I got the mirror to scan, and, alas, I know my Target mirrors and this one was not one of the light $5 mirrors. I quickly put it back and track down a friendly employee.

"Do you have any more of the cheap $5 mirrors anywhere other than the mirror isle?"

"No, we only do that at the beginning of the school year, but I can go look in the back to see if we have any more."

"It's okay, I'm on a time crunch, I'll just get vitamins."

Well, if that wasn't the blankest state I've ever gotten.

And for some reason, it took me a minute to figure out why that replacement item seemed off. In my head, it made sense. Replace the mirror I need with vitamins I also need in order to get the cash back, which is what I really need at this point.

So rather than try to explain it, I just turn and speed walk to the vitamin isle. Sorry to the Target employee that probably went home and told his parents/friends about the weird chick that bought vitamins instead of a mirror. No wait, you're welcome for giving you another glorious customer service story.

My First Run

It's been a few weeks since the great mirror fall of 2014. Since then, the bone has been covered, stitches have been taken out and mederma has become a daily addition to my routine. All is going well, and my workout ban has been lifted. It's been lifted ,plus a few days (just got to make sure that it's fully healed, right?). But finally, I decided to get back into the swing of working out.

Transitioning back to exercise is exciting. The feeling of getting your treadmill legs back. The slow rhythm building, despite all the trauma of the previous weeks.

A slow burn building in the left muscles of the stomach. Breath is getting slower. Staccato.

As the sweat build and muscles tense, only one thought crosses my mind...

It's good to be back.

Even though the run was slower and shorter than usual. The weights are lighter and the reps are lower. But, hell yeah, it's good to be back.

Taylor Swift is a Brat

There, I said it. And I'll say it again -- Taylor Swift is a brat.

As I am sure all fans are aware (and probably even those of you that aren't), Taylor Swift didn't want to her new album, 1989, to be allowed to be streamed on Spotify.

Fine. I get it. You're poor and need more than the fraction of a cent you make every time someone streams any song from the album.

Oh wait, you're actually a millionaire.

But don't get me wrong, I do actually get it. You're an artist and know your worth, but really? Measure your self-worth in ways that are more meaningful than money. Like the unified love of sharing good music with your fans. Or to be the voice behind a message that resonates with people that need someone to articulate their feelings. Make something that will last forever. But don't make make it about how much you make off of it. Isn't it more important to make something of value for people, and give them the opportunity to be forever effected by it?

I also get that she is going to hit platinum the old school way, but think of how she could blow it out of the water with people streaming it. For those real Swifty fans, they'd buy the album anyways without needing to be convinced. But for passive fans like me, I am absolutely not going to go buy an album based off of the sheer fact it's Taylor Swift (especially with a single as obnoxious as "Shake it Off"). However, after hearing a few songs off the album -- which let me mention that I was easily able to stream on a multitude of other websites outside of Spotify -- I am more interested in the album.

However, I never would have come to that conclusion had I not previewed the album. That's one reason for having it on Spotify. But nah, don't worry, you do you Taylor and don't put it on Spotify. (note: despite the sarcastic tone, I actually do respect her for making her own, mature, informed decisions)

Oh but wait, there she goes pulling the plug on literally all of her music on Spotify. And that's why she's a brat. Whether it was her decision or her label's, that's some real petty shit. Okay, save your new release for a few months so you can make all the money off your dedicated fans, and then give your laggard fans the option to hear it without having to buy. I'll accept that, but when you go so far as to pull some really old shit you have up on there just to send a caddy message, I draw the line. You know that having those up there, years later, is not effecting your sales in any way. You're doing this out of spite. That's not just going after Spotify, that's hurting your audience base just as much as it is a blow to Spotify, if not more so. Just childish.

Not only won't I buy the album, I won't support you. Go back to country you little priss and bring the drama with you.

Things I miss about Connecticut's Fall

As we can probably all agree, autumn is a really awesome time. If we can't remember, here's why fall is so exciting. And while autumn is good in Virginia, my heart still longs for a few really Connecticut-ish fall-isms. Now onto the list, using more real words than the previous sentence (hopefully).

• Fall breezes. Obviously Connecticut is colder than Richmond, and I miss the crisp fall breezes that the North has, which the South lacks. Sure, I can throw a scarf on now, but my neck will sweat, which is sure wouldn't be doing in Connecticut right now.
• Lyman Orchards. While this is a really specific one, it was only the mecca of all things fall. Apples, apple cider, pumpkins, hay, hay mazes, ducks, leaves, the whole fall 9-yards.
• Cold mornings. Okay, so not cold morning, but slightly colder mornings. Not to the point that your feet turn to popsicles when they touch the ground (yeah, mom, calling you out for the freezer our house became in the winter). But I miss that feeling of a bit of cool air on your face when you wake up, making your bed feel just a little bit better than normal.
• Soccer. Okay, so this one doesn't really count. But when I was in Connecticut, fall was soccer season (well, soccer season was every season, but fall soccer season was the best). It's not that Richmond doesn't have soccer, because clearly it does, but fall always reminds me of my youth and kicking a ball around.
• Falling leaves. Sure, some are falling here, but not as many as in Connecticut.
• My family. Fine, they're not specific to autumn, but we're in that stretch where we're gearing up for the holidays, and there really aren't any good times to head up for a few days before then.

Where do you live? What's fall like in your area? Sound off in the comments below :)

Calamity Jane Here...Again

So this past week I went to a conference up in DC. It was a whole day of digital breakout sessions, covering everything from content marketing to search engine optimization to UX design to analytics. Needless to say, I was stoked. The only part  I wasn't excited for was waking up at 5 AM to leave myself PLENTY of time to get there. I mean, I was leaving myself 3 full hours to make a 1 hour 45 minute trip. Should be good, right?

NOPE.

My logic was almost there. I was going to turn on Waze the moment I left the house, but what's the point? It's 5:30 in the morning and I know how to get myself pointed in the right direction to Washington without something barking at me so early in the morning. So, I'll just save it for later.

UGH. TYPING THIS STILL MAKES ME MAD.

I hit traffic within about twenty minutes of leaving my house. And not just traffic, but deadlock. I didn't move. And then I didn't move some more. And then I turned on my GPS, only to see that I wasn't going to be moving for awhile longer. A slow death.

I saw the sun rise in that gridlock. I listened to my mixtape cd one full time in that gridlock (side note: I wish making people mixed tapes were still a thing, because I need more music in my car). I almost cried in that gridlock. But I held myself together.

Finally trickled out of the gridlock. They actually had us get off the highway because all three lanes were shut. And then there were no directions on where to go from there. Naturally, my GPS wasn't working, so I wanted to cry cried again. And then wanted to cried again when I went the wrong way.

But thankfully, I went in the opposite direction that I was supposed to, so I added on 20 more minutes onto my adventure, and finally hit the open road. Success?

Once I made it there, I couldn't get over how upset I was from all the traffic. Horrendous start to the day. But at least the trip back home would be better right?

HA.

It would get dark as soon as I leave, right? Check.

And rain a bit? Nope.

Rain a whole lot? That's more like it.

Fog? The cake needs icing, doesn't it? Yup.

Glorious day for travel all around. Claps. -_-

Five Weirdest Notes in My Notes Section on my Phone

As a writer, I like to think that brilliancy can strike at any time. When it does, I write it down in my notes section of my phone. Then I go back when I'm at a computer and further flesh out those ideas. Those prompts make up most of my blog posts. However, sometimes I sit down and go through my notes, and then wonder why in the hell I thought I would ever want to delve deeper into some of these topics. Here are five really lame blog post ideas that I took time to write down:

1. Beer (Title): UNITA brewing porter (description). I wanted to start reviewing more products for my blog, and thought the Beer Expo was going to be a good place to start. I planned on keeping a list of best and worst beers to write about, but (as you can probably infer) I got too distracted with drinking and trying out an insane amount of sour cream dips that I wrote down a whopping list of one beer that I either did or did not like.
2. Paddleball (Title): So the paddleball resurfaced since the move and it's better than ever (description). Awhile ago, I wrote a post about the Christmas paddleball tradition in my family. More recently, my roommate found it after a heavy night of drinking (milk) and was trying it out. It was hilarious. I mean, tears rolling hilarious. I even took a video (still cracks me up). So I sent the video to several people, and literally the only person that thought it was mildly humorous was my mother. Guess you had to be there.
3. One-year anniversary (Title): When I started this blog a little over a year ago, my primary purpose was to articulate all the changes going on in my life (description). So this one was really well-intentioned, and to this day I am still brainstorming a way to make sense of this post. I really did start this blog as a documentation of the transition from college to work-life, but I always thought the blog would have a switch in focus. For example, I thought I would focus less on lessons learned, less on how much change I'm going through and definitely less about the mistakes I made and how to avoid them. However, I still learn a lot about life every day. My life is constantly changing. And I still make mistakes, get homesick, mess up normal adult activities, etc. I don't think those themes are ever going to go away. And I really hope they don't because having things change is a good thing, and learning is a great thing. I guess my one-year anniversary post could be about the misconception I had of adulthood (that has potential, right?).
4. Blog (Title): I don't understand why people think they can walk all over you and then act surprised when you walk away (description). Obviously, this one needed a ton of work, as it didn't even get a title. But I also almost immediately knew I would never blog about that. I have a basic rule for my blog that I don't (or try ridiculously hard not to) sub-blog about people (or more-so, a situation in this case). I never want someone to read a post and think, "There she goes airing our dirty laundry." If it's my own dirty laundry, then yes, I shall air it to whoever listens, but I just don't think its appropriate or fair to include stories about people when their view isn't represented. The world needs a lot less of people complaining about people, so that's my blogging rule.
5. Concept (Title): Union of all different plants. New ones have to wear suits to ensure they don't have viruses that only get tested at a certain age. Meet Will Smith look alike, distant yet welcoming...(description). This one goes on...and on...and on. I heard once that if you have a dream and want to remember it, you shouldn't move a lot when you wake up, and then write it all down. So I quickly typed out everything I could remember about the dream. None of it was as cool as it was when I dreamed it, but I was pretty positive I could recreate it when the time was right. The time is definitely not right, nor am I sure the time will ever be right.