Mirror, Mirror on the Web . . . How Old Am I?

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Overnight my Facebook has blown up with people's selfies, which wouldn't be anything new, except now they're labeled with how old the person looks. Thanks to the #HowOldRobot, a website can now tell you how youthful/aged/non-human you look.

For kicks over breakfast, I decided to see how old I look since my birthday was this past week.

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Damn, grad school has done a number on me. Nine years to be exact.

I tried again:

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Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Coffee Siren is eight decades old. Who would've known? All that caffeine keeps her youthful.

And so it went:

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Not much to say here.

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This is like an average of Mrs. Euphegenia Doubtfire and Robin Williams' age in 1993.

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Aunt Jemima, where do you get your genes?

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Another lie told by Brian Williams (actual age: 55).

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See, we need to stop doubting Hillary is too old to run for president.

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The presidency hasn't aged him once yet.

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Okay, cool. At least I'm not in my thirties this time.

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Surprisingly, this is Sister Jude's actual age (Jessica Lange was ~64-years-old when American Horror Story: Asylum filmed.)

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OMG. Spot-on for age and sex!

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Sorry, Bill; it added twelve years (Bill Murray, actual age: 64).

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Meet Alyssa. She's a second year dental student. Real age: 24. My, how grad school sucks your soul dry.

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This is Constance Langdon from American Horror Story: Murder House. I don't think she's supposed to be this young, hence "Rejoice!"

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Why is Sara deemed younger-looking than me? We're going to blame the makeup.

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Phew. It sees the truth: Sara is older than most grandmothers.

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DA FUXX. I am not in my thirties!

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Sara: the mom-next-door.

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Betty White's actual age is 93. Bill Murray might want to give her his twelve excess years plus one for old time's sake.

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I was expecting to get a larger number, like, in the trillions. After all, Morgan Freeman is a synonym for "ageless wisdom."

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I had to try again. Still got the sex right . . . .

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Next goal for the #HowOldRobot: Determining fetuses' sex.

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I don't know this man, but I love him. Maybe he's 76.

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Aka "you dead." (I found this man by Googling "oldest man alive.")

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"You get a facelift! I get a facelift! Everyone gets an age-lift!"