Are You Satisfied With Dating in Richmond? 44 Percent of You Are

March 13, 2020 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Dating, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

Back on Valentine’s Day, Sara and I got emailed about an interesting new “study” by Apartment List that listed (honestly couldn’t find a different verb for what Apartment List may do) the best and worst metros for dating, i.e. cities for getting drinks with people that you want to liplock with.

Because I have been the worst at writing (because, hello, I am living; that is not rationalization, therapist), I didn’t even read the article until two weeks after Valentine’s. However, what I read stuck with me.

A Kind of Sad and Embarrassing Story

October 24, 2019 by Sara Woznicki in Humor, Leisure, Life In Your 20's, life lessons, Sara's Column, Social Media, Tweets and Mascara

Cazey came this weekend to visit me for a brief — but appreciated — three hours before training down to Virginia Beach. As friends do, we were catching each other up on our personal lives.

Have you written about this yet?

Was Cazey’s immediate question after I shared. It’s kind of sad and embarrassing, I replied.

Clearly Cazey won because here is my sad and embarrassing personal life update, for your viewing pleasure.

The Full Circle of the Cosmos

October 15, 2019 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Dating, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

A year ago, I booked a trip to France that I planned for months. In the twelfth hour, as I drove up interstate 95 to the airport, a snowstorm in Ireland canceled the entire journey. In the days following, I felt sad and almost wounded to have this trip yanked away from me, especially at the last possible moment. The cancellation underlined the fleetingness of opportunity. I rebounded by booking trips to Canada, Cuba, and Scotland, countries that had never been on my radar before the day I didn’t make it to Paris.

What bothered me most was, still, the intention. I had trains and tours booked and memories and pictures planned. I envisioned myself on the hill overlooking Nice’s beach and eating a croissant by the Arc de Triomphe. Even with new trips, I remain haunted by reminders that anything can vanish even when it’s most guaranteed.

The weekend after my canceled trip, I saw flyers for Richmond’s French Film Festival. A month later, I attended a “Spring in Paris”-themed gala. I took a photo beneath an Eiffel Tower that I’d never see, at least not so soon.

Birthday Texts From an Ex

September 24, 2019 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Humor, life lessons, Life In Your 20's

This week is an ex’s birthday. Three months ago, we agreed to never speak again. We have made similar oaths in the past and broken them. This time feels slightly more permanent if only because we no longer live in the same city.

For the past seven days, I have brewed over breaking our silence to send a short, courteous “Happy birthday!” After all, while we swore it was over, we also assured ourselves that no one was mad, this was just healthiest. Insert eye roll emoji.

By these rules, I should not send a message on her birthday. Also, according to my pride and dignity, I should not reach out. Fittingly, my pride is one of my biggest prides—and arguably a large contributing factor to the demise of our relationship / friendship / whatever you want to call it, which fuels suspicion that I should.

Dear Person I Didn't Ghost (But I Did)

September 18, 2019 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Dating, Humor, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

Dear Person I Didn’t Ghost (But I Sort of Did),

Heyy. I’m using two y’s to come across as more playful and less serious, but obviously I’m less serious if it took me six weeks to respond to your last message where you told me you were lying on your parents’ couch waiting to go to a concert. How was the couch? How was the concert?

It’s been a while. I know I sort of dropped off the face of the earth. (I don’t know why I’m saying “sort of” when I “kind of” did, and again, by “kind of,” I definitely did. But I want to downplay the seriousness of my lack of my communication. It really doesn’t mean anything except... well, we’ll get there.)

How It Feels to be a Doctor (But Not That Kind of Doctor)

September 10, 2019 by Cazey Williams in Life In Your 20's, Cazey's Column, life lessons

In March, I became a doctor. No, not a medical doctor—but that doesn’t mean I’m less of a doctor. I spent nearly six tortured years in the Ivory Tower, thank you very much.

Becoming a doctor did not immediately feel very different other than when people called me “Doctor” as if a slip of the tongue. When my adviser congratulated me after my defense, he called me “Dr. Williams.”

That’s it? I’m just a doctor now?

Inspired by True Events: 23 Millennial Haikus

August 21, 2019 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Dating, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

A couple of months ago, I published some haikus, all inspired by real life events that either I or a friend experienced. Here’s my followup.

Not having someone
To send texts that I regret -
What a boring brunch.

The Ultimate "Would You Rather?"

August 14, 2019 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Dating, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

In the last few weeks, I have pondered the hardest “Would you rather?” Here goes – brace yourself, readers – would you rather love someone more than they love you, or would you rather love them less?

I did not find this existential, if not philosophical, burden in a book or an online forum. Instead, I came to experience the dichotomy of liking someone too little and then, with horrible PTSD, recalling the times I liked another more than they liked me.

I will illustrate both for you. In the late winter, I dated a girl for several months. I remember my excitement when we first started going out. I especially remember a Saturday afternoon text she sent: “What are you doing?” Genuine interest in my existence!

Defining Love, Relationships, and Exes

June 13, 2019 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Dating, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

A friend recently asked me how many exes I have. Confidently, I replied, “2.87.”

Of course, I am no King Solomon and did not halve my last “ex.” (We’ll define an ex in a second here.) Or, more likely, quarter her. Instead, exes can be defined on a weighted scale. We may assign a weight of 1 to the person who you probably should’ve and maybe did call your “girlfriend” or “boyfriend.” By that, I mean the person lasted (probably) three months or more and the duration of romance included mutual confessions of affection and possibly some public hand-holding or kissing (maybe more!! Insert winking emoji). Fiancé(e)s are given a score of a 2, and ex-spouses (or partners that lasted over half a decade) are given a 3. Naturally, the scale is sliding and up for debate in philosophical circles.

To accumulate my whopping score of 2.87 exes, I summed the skeletons of some half-dozen flings over the last decade (it’s frightening when I can speak of my life in decades). I have never had a complete ex; that is, an ex-girlfriend whose weight would be 1. My highest assigned value would be given to someone who I do conversationally call my “ex” because she is, in fact, the most significant ex of my past…but ex- what? Her score is a 0.66. We dated, yes, but we didn’t date date. She just meant a lot to me. In fact, she meant 0.66 to me of what a theoretical actual girlfriend would mean to me. (I’m half-joking.)

My Time on "The Southern Bachelorette"

June 06, 2019 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Life In Your 20's, life lessons, Dating

The reason I started dating “Carmen” was because she wanted to be featured on this blog. For better or for worse, for the last year most of my dating exploits have ended up on here. Several of my friends joke about this, Carmen knew this, and on an unusually warm evening in mid-winter on a Richmond rooftop, Carmen told me, “I want you to write about me. I want my name to be Carmen.”

The first time I heard about Carmen, my friend texted me I had to meet her new friend, I would love her. I didn’t know if she meant platonically or romantically, but I was interested either way. When we finally did meet, I felt immediately attracted, but Carmen was also so not my type. Physically, she was—tall, athletic blonde with Cate Blanchett’s profile. Yet, her resume read in stark contrast to mine: Mississippi transplant, sorority princess, Homes & Garden cover girl fresh out of a two-year engagement with another one right before that, all before the age of 30.