I’ve never been someone who’s attracted to simpletons. I love the dramatic. My favorite movies are tragedies. It should be no surprise then that I pursue the same principles in romance. This here is the story of how I dated a woman for five weeks who broke up with me no less than four times – and I stayed through it all.

Most might assume I have no self-esteem if I’m willing to stay with someone who keeps breaking up with me, but you could also say it’s a sign of someone who doesn’t really care. Sara and I have long heralded the motto of “Do it for the story,” and well, look, I got a story.

“Sheila” and I met on Bumble. If this had been Plenty of Fish or OkCupid, I might have been able to predict the craziness. Instead, we exchanged numbers our first night and never stopped texting.