Christmas in April

December 11, 2018 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Humor

Once upon a time in undergrad, I had a roommate who was very particular about her belongings. I won't elaborate on the details other than to say that one time I chipped the lid of a pot from a 12-piece, $40 set, and I never heard the end of it.

The roommate and I decided to part ways come the end of our lease. However, we still had three months left to live together.

A cool night in late April, I took the recycling out and went to grab a new bag. We kept the bags - the paper bags from the grocery store - underneath a heavy box on the pantry shelf. I pulled a bag out and was opening it when I heard a BAM!

Everything That Went Wrong in the $30 Airbnb

June 19, 2018 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

A couple of weeks ago, my friend invited me to her wedding. I brought my roommate Katherine as my plus one and booked an Airbnb for us.

I didn’t spend too much time on the selection. We wouldn’t be at the place long, just to change before the wedding and to sleep afterward. There also weren’t a ton of selections in the area, but I found a suburban two-storey bungalow for $50. The rental was a private room, meaning the host would be home, but that was fine; I’ve done that before in the States and abroad. Plus, I had a $20 voucher I could apply to make the entire rental $30. Amazing!

I forgot about the Airbnb almost entirely until a week before the wedding when “Mr. Xi” emailed confirming my arrival and informing me he would be out of town. “I’ll leave key in lockbox,” he wrote. “The code is 7133. Leave the key there when you go out.”

The Squatters of Hanover Avenue: To Kill a Mouse

October 02, 2017 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Humor, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

I first saw our newfound tenant on a June night. I had been living at my place for just about a year, and we had only entertained human tenants until this evening. A couple of nights before, I detected evidence of our friend: While eating dark chocolate raisins, I found a few pieces with teeth marks. Of course, I didn’t immediately think, Teeth marks! But I wondered, Hmm, I wonder how the dispensing machine did that.

Two days later, I walked into our pantry and saw a mouse scurry across the shelf and into the cereal boxes. I think I screamed. I definitely jumped.

But I was not disturbed. Growing up, I raised rodents. I owned a hamster and two guinea pigs. Mice are cute. My only repulsion is, they’re dirty. They once carried the Black Plague.

Sex and Serial Killers, Part II

May 25, 2016 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Humor, life lessons

In last week's episode, I enticed you with a title called "Sex and Serial Killers," but we never got to the sex. Today we do. Grab some protection.

My senior year of college, I got chosen to be a conference assistant at a conference on leadership, which is the buzzword of higher education and my most endorsed skill on LinkedIn. Six of us from across the country were chosen. Out of the six one of us was the lead conference assistant, which means nothing, because leadership is what you do, not a title you wear (you can put that on your Pinterest quote board). Anyway, enter “Giovanni,” the lead conference assistant.

Sex and Serial Killers, Part I

May 23, 2016 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Humor, life lessons

Twice in my life I have been forced to share a hotel room with people I didn't know until we became temporary roommates. The first was a probable serial killer and the second was an exhibitionist if there ever was one.

Flashback to my undergrad. My adviser suggested I attend a conference out-of-state, I told her I didn't have a car, and she said she'd hook me up with her other advisee. "Bo" picked me up on a gray, hungover Friday morning. He drove a black truck with a hatch meant for storing corpses. Bo also wore all black including a slicker and galoshes so the blood spatter wouldn’t ruin his pants.

Stranding Strangers in Starbucks

April 20, 2016 by Cazey Williams in Humor, life lessons, Cazey's Column, Life In Your 20's

The last month of my senior year of college, I decided to make money on a weekend trip home. I posted my planned journey on a website two weeks out, and two people messaged me wanting a lift. The one agreed on $10 for me to drop her in Richmond, and the other, who we'll call "Pip," agreed on $20 for me to take him to Virginia Beach. Plus, my dad would probably give me gas money, so I was gonna make out like a bandit. Ka-ching, ka-ching.

Slightly before this trip, I had committed to graduate school in Richmond and created a roommate profile on another site. The weekend before the trip, a potential roommate messaged me asking if I'd be interested in meeting and seeing his place. I said yes and figured I could drop off the first person and I'd just tell Pip he needed to find another ride and he could keep his $20.

The Uninvited Houseguest

July 16, 2015 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Humor, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

As an extrovert, there are some nights I just want to be around people. I don't want to drink. You don't need to get dressed up. I just want to sit in proximity to Homo sapiens.

This becomes a struggle when your best friend is in California, your roommate is going to bed, and no one is opening your Snapchat. What do I do?