Please Don't Take My Photo

August 22, 2016 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Humor, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

Several months ago I was at a pregame. My friend’s new boyfriend showed up and also brought his roommates. Introductions were had, and we went back to playing “Go Fish” with Finding Nemo cards as a drinking game.

I never understand drinking games. In general, you’re supposed to drink when you lose. But the point of drinking games is to drink, so is the goal to lose? Anyway…

Earlier in the day, my friend sent out a link to a Craigslist post that was a note to a guy. The Craigslist author had seen the guy on a probable Tinder date, and she or he noted all the things he had done wrong on the date. The post was quite detailed and provides for entertaining reading. I would link to it, but it's apparently been taken down. Oof.

Sex and Serial Killers, Part I

May 23, 2016 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Humor, life lessons

Twice in my life I have been forced to share a hotel room with people I didn't know until we became temporary roommates. The first was a probable serial killer and the second was an exhibitionist if there ever was one.

Flashback to my undergrad. My adviser suggested I attend a conference out-of-state, I told her I didn't have a car, and she said she'd hook me up with her other advisee. "Bo" picked me up on a gray, hungover Friday morning. He drove a black truck with a hatch meant for storing corpses. Bo also wore all black including a slicker and galoshes so the blood spatter wouldn’t ruin his pants.

When the King Robs You

December 21, 2015 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Humor, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

A few weeks ago, I found myself clubbing in DC with two friends, Emily and Justin. Near the night’s end, we decide to hit up the local McDonald’s before Ubering home. This became the first time I tasted McDonald’s 24/7 breakfast menu in all its egg McMuffin glory.

The three of us find a booth and have only unwrapped our bacon McDoubles (okay, Justin got that; I certainly got the egg McMuffin) when we’re accosted by a gangly, older man. He points at Emily and starts screaming and clapping.

Jeanine the Giraffe Hunter, or the Scariest Tease I Ever Met

June 24, 2015 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Dating, Humor, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

Two months ago I went on a quasi-date with "Jeanine." I never thought it a date until she referenced it as such, and so then I went with it. Later, we hung out, and the date came up.

"But you know we're just friends, right?" she said. "That's all I'm looking for."

I had deduced even before our date that Jeanine was a conglomerate of clinginess and hypochondria, so this was fine with me. I had to stop myself from nodding too fast to being "just friends" and mentioning she was too manic for me.