A Parable of Missed Connections

November 14, 2017 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

A while before, a friend told me about "Margo" and suggested we might make a good pair. I knew her name through a handful of other friends, and I gathered my friend had also made the same suggestion to Margo. At some point I added her on Facebook. That is how all great millennial love stories begin - that, or a swipe right.

The relationship progressed with Facebook likes, comments back and forth on mutual friends' posts, and at another point we exchanged numbers when she discovered I was visiting her city soon. We made plans to grab coffee that turned into gelato. Of course, I left Richmond late (by two hours), so I had to move our meeting back. I also had to stop at my friend's before, where I was staying that night, to drop off my luggage.

Dear Abby, I Don't Like My Friend's Boyfriend

October 17, 2017 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Humor, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

A few weeks ago, I drove up to DC to visit my friend. After lunch, we decided - that is, my friend decided - we needed to drop by her boyfriend's apartment go pick up a gift card she had left there. The last time I visited my friend, I had met this boyfriend and he had accused me of cheating at Monopoly. Now I am not the purest of souls, but I am not so depraved as to cheat at a board game. And so what if I had? Send me to jail.

I braced myself on the ride to his apartment. When we walked in, I felt a concentrated effort on his part not to make eye contact. I forced out a hello, and he stared at me.

"Hi," he said timelessly.

How To Go On a First Date: A Tutorial

February 06, 2017 by Cazey Williams in Life In Your 20's, Humor, Dating, Cazey's Column, life lessons

Step one: download Tinder. Or it can be any app that our generation uses that allows you to meet young, attractive locals without ever leaving your bedroom.

Swipe right. Be sure not to swipe too far right and up or you might Super Like them, and how awkward is that to show someone you really, really think they’re attractive. It’s better not to give people the upper hand in these commitmentphobic times. Or worse, you might accidentally Super Like someone unattractive. Gasp. Undo! CTRL+Z!

Keep swiping right. It takes a few minutes/hours/days until you find a match. Well, hopefully not days.

I'm Your Girlfriend's Best Friend and I'm Not a Threat (Unless I Want To Be)

May 18, 2016 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, life lessons, Dating, Life In Your 20's

Recently my best friend got engaged. They met overseas, so I didn't get to meet her fiancé until after he actually proposed - though I knew the ring was coming (because she believed it was coming) and I Facebook friended the guy before they were even official.

Upon meeting her betrothed, he asked how we knew each other. "From college?" he guessed. (I was slightly offended my friend hadn't briefed her beloved further.)

"No, no, we go all the way back to kindergarten," we relived our friendship. "In third grade we ran against each other for SCA secretary. Neither of us won."

Three Things a Relationship Did Not Change for Me

January 14, 2016 by astoldoverbrunch in Guest Post, Life In Your 20's, life lessons

Upon entering my sophomore year of high school, I had a hopeful vision for how that particular year would play out.

I knew it was the year I would finally, blissfully, manage to snag a boyfriend. I pictured myself walking the halls with him, laughing at something he said and tossing my perfect soft curls, my blue pastel pea coat appropriately fending off the fall chill.

First of all, I did not have soft, curly hair. I had thick, coarse hair that I can only also describe as lumpy. And I certainly did not own a blue pea coat. In fact, even if I had owned such a coat, I probably would have been too shy to wear it for fear of looking like I was trying to hard and instead settle for my usual American Eagle sweatshirt.

People Facebook Says I May Know

October 05, 2015 by Cazey Williams in Cazey's Column, Humor, Life In Your 20's, Social Media

When on my phone and scrolling through Facebook, it often seems that Facebook is trying to be Tinder - or a pot-stirrer. It's either, "Who is this long-haired goddess?" or "Why would I want to be friends with him? He attacked me with a tennis racket in middle school."

Today I brief you on Facebook's top pics for my future friends:

Save It For Tiffany's

May 27, 2015 by astoldoverbrunch in Life In Your 20's, Guest Post, Dating, life lessons, Social Media, Work, Young Professionalism

I had a college boyfriend. The kind you kiss behind the dorm room door while your roommate pretends not to be annoyed in the common room. The kind you Snapchat more than you talk to and fight with more than you love. The boy that you never knew you weren’t going to marry.

I’m not in college anymore. I don’t have that boyfriend anymore, either. I’m with someone I didn’t meet in bio lab or in the dining hall. He never want to a campus party with me. We talk way more than we text and if he doesn’t answer me for six or seven hours, I know it’s because he is busy. We don’t fight about iPhone drama the way my college boyfriend and I did. There are a lot of reasons for that, including my increased level of maturity, but the number one reason is this: I’m not in college anymore. I have a different life now, one that includes dress pants every day and business cards in my wallet. My new boyfriend has business cards too, not for the same company (thank goodness), but his life is like my life. We match in many ways.

Why I Think You May Like Me (Even Though You Have a Boyfriend)

May 05, 2015 by Cazey Williams in Dating, Cazey's Column, Life In Your 20's, Tweets and Mascara

Because three years ago, in a circle of strangers, we named each other as our respective crushes.

Because one night later you came home with me because you said you left your keys in my apartment. And I stupidly offered to pay for your cab.

Because you called me the next day and asked to get lunch before you left town.

An Open Letter to Contestants on the Bachelor

January 27, 2014 by Sara Woznicki in Humor, Leisure, Life In Your 20's, Sara's Column, Tweets and Mascara

Dear women of the Bachelor, Honey, we can do better. Maybe some third-perspective can help you see how much of a train wreck you've become.

While you have already given up most of your dignity from agreeing to date the same man as 26 other women on national television, try to keep a shred of it by refraining from crying when you get voted out.

But surely the two group dates where we amassed a total of ten minutes of conversation alone has solidified my undying love for you.

No. No, you're not in love. So gather the few shreds of dignity you dropped and walk out with your head up and stop the waterworks. You're embarrassing women everywhere. Be strong and confident, and take a sigh of relief that you're no longer practicing polygamy.

Also, think of the probability when you go in there. The odds aren't fantastic that you'll win in the first place, so don't act like you couldn't have guessed this would happen. One in a twenty seven chance of winning isn't a bet most people would gamble on.

Please also refrain from muttering any semblance of, "I just hate sharing my boyfriend." Dude, you signed up for this. What exactly were you expecting when enrolled in the Bachelor? Also, does a group date or two really constitute him being your boyfriend?

And finally, please stop whining that he's kissing other chicks than you. Do you really want to be the sixth lady he's made out with on a group date? How special do you really think it'll be to him?

Well, on second thought, I take it all back. Keep being total hot messes. The show wouldn't be quite the same without you fretting over every single minute of your current existence.